Category: Relationships

Mar 28 2009

7 Step Plan to Build Trust in a Relationship

Do you know these 7 concrete steps to build trust in a relationship? Often, what really makes a relationship work are not the things we think of first. For instance, do you think you always need to spice things up? Wrong! Predictability is more important than variety in a relationship. The following seven methods are guaranteed to grow your connection by improving the level of trust in a relationship.

First, as I mentioned in the opening paragraph, you have to be predictable. This goes against the common notion that you need to “stir things up” to keep the romance alive. Yes, going to a new restaurant or giving a surprise gift can be nice, but most of all, we need things to be consistent and steady in order to make our relationships work. Consider that trust in a relationship is built on being reliable day in and day out.

Next, you need to make sure that your words always match the message. This means that your partner must hear the words which match your body language. If you say you are happy but you are frowning, your partner doesn’t hear your words, he or she sees your face and the tone in your voice. Your partner must be able to trust what you are saying. When the words match the message, you build trust in a relationship.

Third, you should have a fundamental belief in your partner’s competency. If you don’t you won’t have the trust in a relationship that you need. When lovingly communicated, the truth is never destructive. When you do not believe that your partner is competent at some things (or indeed, anything), you violate the trust in a relationship.

Don’t keep secrets. Secrets destroy the trust in a relationship. Be honest and open. Assume everything you know may eventually come out. Secrets require enormous energy on your part. That is energy that could be going into building the relationship.

Fifth, don’t be afraid to let your partner know what your needs are. Don’ t make him or her guess what you need. Let them know. It is okay to be self-centered as long as you are not selfish. Indeed, if you are reluctant to assert your needs, you can go overboard in the opposite direction and smother your partner.

Sixth, learn to say no. When your partner voices his or her wants, that is a good thing. But you don’t need to say yes to everything. A partner cannot respect you if you never say no. Refusing to be subjugated to the other person’s will actually builds trust in a relationship.

Finally, always pursue growth. When you plant a flower, you begin by digging in the dirt. Digging in the dirt of our relationships might sometimes cause pain. But, through that pain, we prepare the soil for future growth. Don’t be afraid of turmoil, crisis, or questions. These become the fertilizer for growth and change. Embrace what is difficult.

When you are ready to work on trust in a relationship, you are bound to encounter a little pain. But, as you work through this pain, you will not only become stronger as an individual, you should also strengthen your bond. Which can also help to improve a relationship

Read also about emotional freedom technique, because it has helped many people to get into balance with their relationships.

Mar 28 2009

Ways to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back - A Step by Step Guide

You've lost the woman of your dreams and just can't survive without her. Figure out how to get your ex girlfriend back by following this easy step by step plan. You may be surprised to learn what works and what doesn't work.

Breaking up might break your heart but it doesn't have to be forever. If you truly believe that you and your ex girlfriend belong together there are a few ways you need to follow if you are to have any hope of turning the relationship around. Getting your ex girlfriend back is not difficult but without a little planning might be a disaster.

1. One of the first things you have to do is cut off communication. This might be very painful for you and will seem like the opposite of what you should be doing. If you really believe that you and your ex girlfriend belong together then this might be just as painful for her. The goal of this step is for her to realize how much she misses and needs you. This is one of the most important steps in the repair process.

2. Take some time for yourself. You have been through an emotional time and need to step back and collect your thoughts. Your ex girlfriend certainly doesn't need someone who is needy or an emotional mess so get your life together so when the chance arises, your ex girlfriend might see you as a calm and stable person.

3. Slowly start to reach out to her. Drop her an email or text her to keep in touch. Keep the messages casual such as "Hey, what's up?" You don't have to jump in and start smothering her with love poetry. Keeping in touch in an easy going way might keep you in her thoughts plus it will let her know that you still think about her. This might help move things along in getting your ex girlfriend back.

4. During the time that the two of you are apart it might help your cause if you remember all the important dates in your ex girlfriends life. Send her a card on her birthday and let her know that you are thinking of her. Your ex girlfriend wants to be treated like a princess and one of the easiest ways for you to do this is by remembering important dates and events in her life.

5. Always look your best. When you know you might be around her, take extra care in your dress. She may not be able to resist you or she may think someone else might not be able to resist you and that might spur her on to rekindle the relationship thinking someone else may become interested in you. Relax, be yourself and take it slowly and the very things that attracted the two of you together in the first place might all come rushing back and soon you will get ex girlfriend back.

Every break up is different and although most can be repaired, there is no way to know how an ex girlfriend might respond, but if there is any feelings left, following these ways will surely help the relationship.

The steps above are a starting point in mending a broken relationship. Getting back with an ex is a bit more complicated than what is outlined here but it is a good start and might get you well on your way to getting your ex girlfriend back.

Read about EFT (emotional freedom technique), because it has helped many people to get into the balance with your SELF.

Mar 27 2009

What Can I Do To Get My Ex Boyfriend Back?!?!? - Helpful Tips

Are you feeling like everything you do pushes your ex away further? Is this describing your situation to a tee? Are you asking "What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back" at every turn? Below are some tips that will help you improve your chances of getting back your ex.

Obviously right now you are serious about saving or rekindling your relationship, which is what led you to this article in the first place. But if you are feeling overly anxious to get your ex back, you may be behaving in the wrong way, causing your ex to pull away naturally. It is natural for your ex to dislike this sort of behavior. Struggling against human nature is completely pointless, and it will only make matters worse.

Are you practicing 'text message terrorism' and smothering your ex? Are you trying to make him feel sorry for you? If you are doing these things, stop! If you are asking yourself " What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back", then you need to stop doing these things right now.

So if you're thinking..... "What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back?", keep reading and follow the strategy....

You are going to need to take a completely fresh approach. Begin by breaking contact off for a while, doing your own thing. During this time where there is no communication between you and your ex boyfriend, you can focus on ways that you can improve your own personal life, rather than focusing on the relationship issues at hand. This is going to be a challenging time, and it is going to require discipline to prevent you from smothering your ex.

During this time, your ex is going to experience a shift in how he feels about you, since you will no longer be pursuing him. You may become mysterious to him in some ways, because he is not sure what you are doing or feeling. This is actually something that can work in your favor. Now your ex is in a position to actually miss you, which is not possible when you are smothering him.

You must remember that the key to this strategy and repairing a break up is to work with human nature rather than attempting to work against it. If you are wondering " What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back?!?!", now you should have a fairly basic understanding on how common mistakes can be avoided. Once you implement this basic strategy you can restore a balance and allow your ex to remember why he loved you in the first place.

Just keep yourself grounded and avoid smothering him. Make yourself appear mysterious and he will be reminded why he loved you in the first place. Play hard to get (don't over do it) and let him make the first move, and you will come out on top. And then you will stop asking "What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back ???", and you'll be back in a healthy relationship!

Get some awesome techniques to get your ex back today!!!

P.S. Read how emotional freedom therapy (EFT) can help you to solve problems with relationships.

Mar 27 2009

How Might I Get Back With My Ex Girlfriend? Is There a Way?

You've just had a break up with your girlfriend. Your feelings are hurt. Now what? If you are wondering how to get back with your ex girlfriend, you need to understand that this is a delicate problem.

You could have hurt feelings but her feelings could be just as torn. This is a time where you must be careful about what you do and say, otherwise feelings may be crushed even further.

There are certain things you need to consider when trying to get back with your ex girlfriend.

The first item on the agenda is to figure out what went wrong. The majority of time, a girl will not just break up with a guy for no reason. More than likely, there is a really good reason that she did what she did. Think back to the time before the break up and try to analyze your actions and conversations. Did anything happen that might have triggered her actions? Once you have an idea of the cause, you then want to figure out if it could have been prevented and what you can do to prevent it from happening again.

If the reason for the break up with your ex girlfriend was entirely your fault, then you will need to let her know that you realize what you did and that it was your fault, but you know now that it was not appropriate. You will need to assure her that you are sorry for what you did and even more sorry for the outcome, since you never meant to hurt her feelings. Be sincere with her or she could think you are giving her an empty apology just to get back together.

You should continue to to go out with friends. Don't lock yourself up in the house feeling sorry for yourself. Just because you and your ex girlfriend are not together right now doesn't mean that you wallow in your own pity and cut yourself off from the outside world. Going out with your friends can work in your favor by causing some jealousy in your ex girlfriend.

Even though you could appear to your ex as though you have moved on, you also need to show her that you still care about her. This is the best course to follow if you want to eventually get back together with her. Let her know that even though you are going out, you have not moved on because you still have feelings for her. Being honest and straight forward with her, could make you appear more mature to her. She could find this very attractive.

At this point, your goal should be to become friends with her again. As time goes on you could build a trusting relationship with your ex. You could become closer to one another and when that time comes you can then have a heart to heart talk with her and ask her the reason you broke up. Be casual and never nag for an answer or she could think you are desperate. She will tell you one of two reasons. Your ex girlfriend could either admit that the break up was a mistake or she will let you know that it was for the better and just wants to be friends. Once you get to that point, you could know which direction the relationship is intended to go.

If you follow this advice, you could be on your way to getting back with your ex girlfriend and the two of you could be a happy couple once again.

The steps above are a starting point in mending a broken relationship. Getting back with an ex after a break up is a bit more complicated than what is outlined here but it is a good start and could get you well on your way to get back with your ex girlfriend.

Find out how emotional freedom technique has helped many people to get into the balance with their true self.

Mar 27 2009

Dating Advice for Women - Are You Asking Some of The Wrong Questions When Looking For Love?

Here at You Can Get the Guy, one of the most common dating or relationship questions we get is, “What can I do to get my man to fall in love with me. I cannot tell you how many girls come seeking this magic pill type answer, but the thing is, they are all asking THE WRONG question. Can you guess what the question SHOULD be?

The real question should be “WHY should he fall in love with me?”

When a woman is looking for a date, husband or boyfriend, she invariably will have this huge list of features/attributes/habits that he should or should not have. They of course want him to have a great sense of humor, look like Brad Pitt, have enough money to support her in the style in which she would LIKE to become accustomed and he cannot smoke, chew, spit, fart or have a wandering eye. Oh – and no facial hair. Or weird piercings.

So – if you ever DO meet this guy, what is it that YOU have to offer HIM?

Hmmmmmm…good question. What is it that men are really looking for? Well, let’s talk about some of the things men really want.

First of all, let’s talk about character. No one wants to be with someone who lacks character, integrity and personality. Some of the qualities that men are looking for are as follows:

1 – Spontaneity – men love spontaneous and fun girls. Be open to new adventure and fun and never forget your sense of humor. This is something that Christian Carter hits on in Catch Him and Keep Him eBook; it is one of the biggest things that can keep the spark in your relationship for the whole lifetime of the relationship.
2- Be mature and in control of yourself. Men do not like girls who have temper tantrums. Do not be moody, needy or pouty.
3- Kindness – men equate kindness with love. Despite the women’s lib movement ? men still want girls to be kind and generous, things like being rude to your waitress or sales clerk are a total turn-off to a man .
4- Honesty, in BOTH words and actions. One of a man’s greatest pet peeves is a woman who tersely replies, “Nothing.” When he asks what is wrong. Be honest in both your feelings and your wants and needs.

This list, of course, can go on for miles, but keep in mind the nature of these traits – they are all basically centered around the truth, kindness and basically a love of self. These are foundations stones of strong character. You have to love yourself and allow yourself to experience these things without reserve.

In addition, it is great for a woman to have a HOBBY and have some fun without him. DO NOT base your happiness on his. Let him know that you have a life outside of him and that you do not NEED him to be happy and content. This shows confidence and maturity and is the exact opposite of needy behavior. Needy behavior, according to Christian Carter, is the death knell of a relationship – it is men’s biggest turnoff.

Kind of going along with a hobby is a woman’s ability to enjoy the things HE likes. Wouldn’t you just LOVE IT if a man you were dating became interested in your pottery class or your love of reading? Imagine if you could do the same for him. By being open and ready for HIS likes, I am betting that he will be more open and ready to experience YOUR favorite things as well.

And this one may seem obvious, but take care of yourself. You do not have to be a model to attract a man . But YOU know what your best attributes are, use them! Take care of yourself, keep clean, healthy, and stay interested in the temple that is your body. It’s the only one you will ever have!

A fifth thing men love – self-reliance. Are you able to manage your own household? Can you check your oil? Run your own grill, computer, finances, etc? You won’t have to do these things for yourself forever if you find a mate, but men love it when a woman CAN.

There are so many facets to dating and relationships, it is difficult to really get in the know, especially when you may be getting bad dating advice from unknown sources. If you are looking to really GET A MAN and keep him, then you will want to learn all you can about dating. Check out Christian Carter’s eBook, Catch Him and Keep Him. It is full of dating advice for women on finding a great man and being able to hold onto him.

Mar 27 2009

How May I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back?

Your Cinderella dream has fallen apart -now what? Are you feeling unhappy and hopeless? If you are serious about mending this broken relationship, you can be assured that there are a few steps you can take to help get your ex boyfriend back.

Nothing is written in stone on the rules of relationships but there are some things that you can do that will help in the healing process when things go bad. The most important thing you will do to start on the road to getting your ex boyfriend back is to use common sense. It seems too easy to be true but is so often overlooked. Many times a person will play games such as giving the impression that they are dating someone else or that they are in love with someone else. This may work occasionally but most times it will backfire since the ex boyfriend will think that the person has moved on with their life and consider the relationship over.

Kill him with kindness. This is an old saying but is a very important step in trying to get your ex boyfriend back. Sometimes a break up is so vengeful and causes a person to become somewhat of a vicious person and act like someone she is not. If you were to act this way you have to ask yourself, if you were your ex, would you want to be around you? Would you cringe at the thought of spending time with you? It will be tough to hold your emotions in but you have to if you want to get your ex boyfriend back. Be relaxed and pleasant and this will remind your ex why the two of you got together in the first place. He will remember all the good things about you and will start to miss being with you.

Always look your best. When you know you will be around him, take extra care in your dress. He may not be able to resist you or he may think someone else might not be able to resist you and that may spur him on to rekindle the relationship thinking someone else will become interested in you. Relax, be yourself and take it slowly and the very things that attracted the two of you together in the first place will all come rushing back and soon you will have your ex boyfriend back.

One thing to remember in trying to get your ex boyfriend back is to work with human nature and not against it. People like to be around nice people. No matter what happened to cause the break up in the first place things will only get better if you use the above strategy. Your ex will remember why he fell in love with you and you will stop asking "How can I get my ex boyfriend back"

The steps above are a starting point in mending a broken relationship. Getting back with an ex is a bit more complicated than what is outlined here but it is a good start and will get you well on your way to getting your ex back.

Find out how EFT (emotional freedom therapy) can help you to get a key to the problems with relationships.

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